He's got the beat

When I was pregnant with Alex I played classical music to him with headphones on my belly every single day. When he was in the NICU he either heard me reading stories to him or more classical music.

I am certain that when Alex is an adult he is going to contribute to us all in some form of music. Music is his first love, and he has got the beat!

Just after 8 seconds on this video you will hear Alex, lets call it be bopping to the beat. Because he is non verbal I have not heard him use his voice with obvious intention, not including when he is crying or laughing etc........Lately though he has been "be bopping" or when "talking" with his dynavox he will squeal from start to finish that his talker is talking for him.

This boy has skillz! I am in love.

4 Points lost

 

We made a family trip to the Saint Louis Children's Museum over spring break. Everyone else we knew seemed to be ocean side, so it felt good on our egos to say we did something fun with the kids. 4 good parenting points................

When out in public I see others notice Alex. He can be very loud as he "sings" and makes his voice known. He is easily spotted in a crowd with his large swinging movements, and rocking. Our family is so used to it. The brothers don't even notice, or at least don't show that they notice. When out in public it is not Alex I notice, but the strangers who notice Alex.

Some people say I can have a negative outlook. I like to say it is a real perspective, not jaded by fairy tales and rainbows. Yeah, I often times assume the worst. It feels safe to me, and many times I am right to do so.
So when I noticed a little boy in an orange shirt who could not stop looking at Alex, I assumed he was a little jerk, and I looked around for his mother to teach him some manners. No parenting points for her on her museum trip!
We entertained the kids by building a tower, and letting Alex knock it down. He SQUEALS in excitement, moans in anticipation, and sometimes a tear or two when overwhelmed. Then I noticed the boy. He was drawn to Alex, he appreciated Alex and his joy. He wasn't thinking mean thoughts, nope, I was.................. 4 points taken away............

Kids aren't naturally mean or judgmental they learn all that from us, our assumptions, and our ignorance.



 Lesson learned!

New chapter

I just registered this baby for kindergarten

Time to write a new chapter..........................

Tropical Escape

I hate using my shampoo as soap. When I run out of soap, what else can I do.......
Trip to the store, try a new scent!
Tropical escape sounds fabulous!
Turns out to be more post traumatic stressish.....Guess I have been attracted to the tropical escape title before. In fact it would have been September 9, 2007, about 1:00 in the afternoon. That brain is a sneaky organ! I went to the store to buy what I needed to move into the NICU, at the time I thought I (would be watching him die.)

Suddenly my warm shower turns into a flood of sickening feelings and emotions. I'm ok, Alex is ok, deep breath, except there is that smell again......It is ok, remember that time I think to myself, when I forgot to grab a towel, of course didn't know until I'm dripping wet. Stick my head out the door? No, not comfortable asking the doctor to grab me a towel on his way to resuscitate someone. Hmmmm, stand here until I dry? Aaahhhh, paper towels! Not so bad, little scratchy. Enough to open my c-section incision a bit. Ain't no thang!

Yes, funny thoughts. That helps. I'm ok, Alex is ok, Max is ok, my big boys they are ok. We made it! Deep breaths, and time to smell this tropical escape. Life is good.

In my minds eye.......................

In my minds eye I see this blog as a place to grieve, and a place to heal.


          There are times that I recognize a moment that isn't normal/typical for Alex. For example our family freezing at the Santa parade, yes parade, Alex hates parades. They are boring, and unless they can be constant marching bands they are pointless to him. When Alex is bored, he gets loud.       Since Alex doesn't speak words his loud is a series of growls, and moans. Add to the fact that it was FREEZING out, it was unpleasant to say the least. We stood there waiting for Santa. Not too far into the wait I heard the kids behind us mocking Alex. They were pretty young too, maybe 8? I was torn between holding them up against the bank wall by their throats, and yelling at their parents. Don't worry, I didn't do either. It was OK. We were OK. I have random feelings of anger, sadness, but there is hope, and so much more happiness. I don't grieve it. I AM OK. He is perfect. So yes, I recognize the moments things are different for us, for Alex. The grief is gone, this is normal.
I miss blogging though, so I'm going to change my perception of this place.
It is now a place where I will share happy moments, sad moments, and of course I will speak frankly about life with 4 kids, and life with Alex.
When Alex was first here with us I wanted so badly for him to be different. In my minds eye, I wanted my old life back. Life was HARD at first with the hospital stays, the feedings, oh my goodness the feedings, the throw up, the surgeries. I wanted to protect him, and I will be honest I wanted to protect myself. I cant even relate to that anymore. I know it was true, I can hardly believe that it was a truth for me.
These past five years I have been completely changed by this kid.

It is that time of year again. The local junior high kids are being asked to live a new way, see people differently. Click here to watch........

Thank you Turner students, I know so many of you will have Alex's back!